


The Sea Inside - Act Three

by UglyWettieWrites



Series: The Sea Inside [3]
Category: Alec Hardy - Fandom, Broadchurch
Genre: Alec Hardy - Freeform, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Broadchurch AU, Erotica, Established Relationship, Fucking then angst then comfort and more fucking, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Multi, Otk spanking, Top!Hardy, dad!Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-28 15:13:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10126574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UglyWettieWrites/pseuds/UglyWettieWrites
Summary: Alec and Grace go to Daisy’s birthday party. Tess gets in Gracie’s head, causing havoc in their relationship.





	

It was a glorious Saturday. He looked out the kitchen window at the piercing blue, adjusting his tie.

His little girl was 18. He still remembered carefully combing her fine blond hair into pigtails for preschool. Making her fish fingers and boxed mashed potato when her mum worked late, watching old Bogart flicks after she promised to keep it their secret.

Now, everything was a secret. What were her thoughts? Did she feel loved? Did she love someone?

The thought made him frown. Was she…experimenting?

She was a beautiful young woman. Boys had to be sniffing around. Perhaps some would be at the party-

Grace wrapped her arms around his waist. “What are you pouting about now?” she said, tugging at his belt buckle.

“Nothing important. Just thinking.” He turned to look at her, and the frown deepened.

“You know, you could wear civvies to your daughter’s party. You look like Columbo with that worn suit.”

He shrugged. “It’s all I have.”

“How about that blue sweater I got you? It’s still got the tags on it,” she said as she poured herself a cup of coffee. He stared at her, his face impassive. She knew him well. “What is it, Alec?”

“That sweater.” His gaze traveled from her face down to her breasts. The jewel red sweater displayed them like apples in a bowl. She wore a pair of jeans that hugged her curves, and a pair of high heeled boots. She looked positively edible. “I don’t like it. Change.”

“What’s wrong with it? It was a gift.” She smoothed her hands down her body. “It’s beautiful.”

He looked at his watch. “We have to get going. We still have to stop at the shops to get the wine and it’s at least a three hour drive. Change. Now.”

“No, Alec. You’re not my father.” She rolled her eyes.

He sighed. “I’ll wait in the car. Hurry.”

“What is your deal? You don’t get to tell me what not to wear. No man does.” She grabbed her purse and walked toward the door, fuming. “Figures you’d be on asshole mode today, of all days-”

He grabbed her and pressed her against the wall, thrusting his leg between hers.

“Alec!”

He put his hands at her waist. “There’s going to be teenaged boys at this party.”

“And?” Her lower lip wobbled.

“I remember being that age. I was no Lothario, but the things that crossed my mind when I saw a woman like you walking down the street…” he ground his hips into hers. She gasped.

He was hard.

“Then tell me later. But we’re going to be late.” She was stubborn. She tried to move, but his hands tightened on her waist, and started to move up her body.

“It was so easy then. A sidelong glance, the slightest whiff of her perfume and it was difficult to walk I was so hard,” he said. “Not much has changed.” He squeezed her breasts almost painfully. He caressed the tender skin of her cleavage. His breath was soft on her face, but his eyes were heavy lidded with lust.

Just as she got on tiptoe to kiss him, he tugged roughly at the neckline of her sweater, baring her breasts. Something ripped.

She squealed in surprise. “What the fuck!” He bared his teeth, pulling down her bra as well. Her nipples were already hard despite her anger. He kissed her roughly, burning her chin with his beard, then licked down to her neck. He sucked on her flesh, then nipped.

“You’ll mark me,” she said dumbly.

He growled into her skin as he unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down enough to get his hand between her legs. She was wet, very wet.

He bit harder, tasting her perfume and sweat. He slid two fingers inside her and curled them. She arched and hit her head on the wall. He chuckled into her neck and fingered her hard and fast, his thumb moving quick over her clit.

He opened his eyes to look at his hand. Her breasts jiggled with her quickening breath and his thrusts. Her hands were on his ass, squeezing, as he rubbed himself against her. She was delicious.

She grabbed his wrist, pulling. “Please. N-no. I’ll ruin my jeans.”

“Fuck your jeans. And this sweater.” He punctuated each word with a thrust of his fingers. He kissed her again, sticking his tongue deep in her mouth. She groaned into him. Her grip on his wrist loosened as he crouched to get leverage to thrust harder. Her hands raked through his hair. He pulled down her jeans and panties more and saw her inner thighs were slick with wetness. He licked them slowly, his fingers not stopping. She sounded sodden up close. He ached to fuck her, but knew if he did his mind wouldn’t be right for his girl’s party.

He needed to stay sharp.

She was beginning to pant, and her pussy tightened around his fingers.

He got on his knees. She looked down at him. His face was flushed and his rose lips were parted to drink her down, and with that image alone, she came. She bucked into his face and dripped freely down to her jeans, soaking them.

Although her cunt resisted a bit, he kept kneading into her pulsing g-spot. “Gimme one more, darling.” His soft voice and his relentless rhythm coaxed two more orgasms out of her in quick succession. The last one made her lose strength, and she began to slide down the wall, trembling. He rose and pulled her up before she landed bare ass on the foyer floor.

He kissed her bruised neck.”You’re mine, Gracie. No one else gets to steal their jollies from you. At least, not without a hell of a lot of imagination.”

She tipped her head up to look at him. Her smile was slow. “Whatever you say, Alec,” she said. She pulled her pants up enough to walk.

He slapped her ass. “I’ll wait in the car. Don’t be long.”

“No,” she said, and disappeared into the bedroom. He actually hummed as he washed his hands and checked himself for wetness. He was still humming as he walked to the car.

* * *

She walked out less than 10 minutes later with a gift bag and a giant helium balloon in hand.

“She’s turning 18,” he said, running the pad of his thumb along her high cheek bone. She wrestled the balloon to the back of the car.

“You’re never too old for novelty balloons,” she said, smiling. “It’s science.”

“Sure,” he said. “Ready to go?”

“Oh yeah,” she said, giving him a wink.

He was about to turn on the radio, but she grabbed his hand. “Let’s just…ride silently for a bit,” she said. “I think we’re there in our relationship, right?”

He shrugged and pulled off. He was amenable to conversation, but she was asleep before they hit the carriageway. He stole a sideways glance at her and smiled. She looked sated and lovely in a pair of gray wool slacks and a cream colored cashmere sweater.

And it was a turtleneck.

* * *

“Dad!” she ran into his arms, shaking his slim frame. His eyes watered with love.

“Happy birthday, sweetie,” he said, nuzzling her temple. She squeezed him tighter. She wasn’t usually so effusive with her affections, so he held her close until she finally let go.

She smiled up at him. “So?”

“So what?” he said, poker faced. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?” Pop music blared from the garden. Someone hooted, then there was laughter.

She turned to Grace. “Welcome, Grace. You look lovely,” she said, caressing the cashmere. She smiled, not knowing how to approach her. Daisy noticed, and hugged her.

She held up a flowered gift bag. “Since your father’s playing games, I suppose I’ll give you this,” she said. She kissed Daisy’s cheek lightly. “Happy birthday.”

She reached inside and screamed.

“What’s going on now?” Tess said, coming up behind them. She looked beautiful in a gauzy top and a pair of jeans.

“Oh my God it’s brilliant!” she said, ripping the box open to reveal her new phone. “Look, mum.” She waved the rose gold fruit phone in her face. She hugged Alec again.

There was a hint of a smile on his face, but he pointed at Grace. “You can thank her for that. I told her you would be perfectly happy with a flip phone, but she insisted,” he said, kissing the top of her head.

“Thanks, Grace!” she said, giving her another quick hug.

“It’s already set up, see?” she swiped at the screen. You just have to put in your email and all that and you’re good to go.”

“I’m gonna go show this to Finn!” she said and ran around the house.

“Who’s Finn?” Alec said, fiddling with his tie.

“Finola, her friend from primary school. She goes by Finn now.”

“Very modern.” He wrapped his arm around Grace’s waist and pulled her close.

Tess looked Alec up and down. “Did you come straight from work?”

“No.”

Grace giggled. “I come bearing gifts for the hostess as well,” she said, holding up the two bottles of wine Alec had bought while she was asleep.

“Thank goodness. I was in danger of almost running out,” she said with a smile, waving them into the house.

* * *

Grace sat and sipped a glass of pinot grigio as Tess made burgers for the grill. Her eyes drifted to Alec, who stood at the edge of the dance floor, hands behind his back. The afternoon sun made his hair shine auburn and glinted off the steel frames of his glasses. His lower lip stuck out in an unconscious pout. She touched her neck where he had bitten earlier. It ached, and it would be blue. One of the guests, a tall boy with long brown hair and hipster glasses, kicked a soccer ball in his direction. He looked down at it, his brow furrowed as if it were a foreign object.

“Kick it over, Mr. Hardy!” he said, smiling and patting his thighs.

Alec made a clumsy attempt and it rolled up his leg and went off to the side.

Daisy laughed and dribbled it easily to the boy, her blonde ponytail blowing in the breeze.

“Dad’s never been much of a footballer type,” she said, blowing Alec a kiss.

He shrugged and put his hands in his pockets.

She shifted in her seat, recrossing her legs. She was also still wet. That man - awkward and pouty - made her come so hard her body hadn’t quite settled yet, even after five hours.

Tess followed her eyes and smiled. “You okay?”

She snapped back into reality. “Yes, of course. It’s a great party.”

Tess washed her hands and poured herself a glass of wine. “Yeah, but also party to a mystery,” she said.

“How so?”

Tess gathered up her grilling supplies and stared out at Daisy, who was sitting in a quiet corner with someone, their heads together over her new phone.

“Daisy invited all her school and team friends, and insisted her father be here because she’s got a ‘big announcement’ that she wants everyone to hear.”

“Oh wow,” Grace said.

“She’s usually quite sunshiny, but she has her intense moments. Takes after her father,” she said, lighting the grill.

“It can be difficult at times, but it’s totally worth it,” Grace said.

Tess gave her a long look. “I suppose. For some,” she said.

Grace didn’t notice Tess’ pointed tone.

“Anyway, Daisy’s last big announcement was that she planned on being a detective inspector, like her father.”

“Alec told me something about that,” she said. “She’s still young. She might change her mind once she graduates.”

“Perhaps, but I doubt it. She’s more stubborn than he is,” Tess said, pointing at Alec with her spatula. He sat in a lawn chair, long legs stretched in front of him. Now that the sun was setting, the games had grown stale. Knots of kids lingered around the dance floor, too shy to be the first to dance.

“He begged and begged for me to marry him. I mean, every day, after Daisy was born. Eventually, he wore me down. I swear I did it mostly to stop his wheedling,” Tess said, chuckling. “Fourteen years wasted, but I got one wonderful thing out of it. I can’t imagine life without Daisy.”

The wine had gone sour in Grace’s mouth. She tried to control her temper. She watched as Alec walked over to Daisy and put his arm around her, nuzzling the top of her head. He was smiling, just happy to breathe her in. He noticed her gaze, and blew her a kiss, a rare show of PDA.

Grace stood up.“Daisy, _and_ your career, right?”

“What’s that?” Tess said, flipping the last batch of burgers. Grace looked at her. Alec had loved her. She was the mother of his child. And this was her home.

She closed her eyes and breathed deep. “Nothing, Tess. I’m gonna go bother Alec,” she said, crossing the lawn and stepping into his outstretched arms.

“Nice talk?” he asked. Daisy went off to gossip with a friend.

“Wonderful. Great. A treat,” she said, looking at him with an almost desperate love. He noticed, and gave her a quick peck on the cheek in front of everyone, another first.

“She’s very good at what she does, but her people skills aren’t much better than mine,” he said. “Perhaps that’s why we were together for so long.”

“Okay,” she said.

_16 years wasted._

She couldn’t get Tess’s casual delivery out of her head.

_Wasted._

She wondered what he was like then. Was he even more deliciously awkward? He showed her photos of himself, fresh-faced and beautiful, albeit taciturn. He always stood a couple steps away from the group, squinting at the camera.

She thought of her own failed marriage, of the abuse and her flight to Broadchurch. Although he had been rolled into her operating room, it was he who had fixed her broken heart.

She giggled to herself. How maudlin.

“What’s so funny?” he asked. He plucked the glass of wine from her hand and took a sip, and wrinkled his nose. “I don’t like white.”

Tears rimmed her eyes. She couldn’t push away the feeling of being an interloper. Tess had won his love first, and absolutely. She knew he still loved her, and would always love her. She was his first. His wife and ex-partner.

She wasn’t jealous, just hurt. Sometimes she felt as if their relationship wasn't all the way real. That it couldn't be.

It was mostly her insecurity talking, but she wondered. Just like she’d been an abuse victim, so had he, in his way - loving a woman who obviously did not love him the same way he loved her. She knew how it wears on the soul.

And how she loved his soul, however secretive and sometimes puzzling he might be.

“Where are you?”  Alec gently caressed the back of her neck underneath her hair.

“That’s enough standing around. Party’s gotta start sometime!” She ran to the middle of the floor and started to dance. At first it felt silly, but eventually the music began to unravel her too tightly wound thoughts. Soon, the floor was full of hooting teenagers.

She wiggled over to Tess, who struggled to turn out burgers for the small crowd gathered around the grill.

“Need a hand?” she said, grabbing a bottle of ketchup.

“Yes,” she said, slapping another steaming burger on a bun. “And thanks for taking one for the team. Those kids would’ve spent the whole night milling around that dance floor, and I paid entirely too much for it.”

“It’s no problem at all. I love to dance. I was actually in the dance team in my old high school, a million years ago.” She squirted sauce on a couple of patties and licked her fingers.

Tess gave her a sidelong glance. “Oh? Good luck getting Alec to dance wi’ you,” she said.

Grace smiled. He already had.

“Our wedding dance was a trial by fire. He nearly broke my fingerbones, but he succeeded in not looking the fool that time,” she said.

Grace served in silence until everyone was fed. Tess kept up a steady stream of banter, none of it worth a response greater than a “oh?” or a “is that right?” When she spoke of work, she sounded a lot like Alec - equal parts careworn and clever.

She could see why he had chosen her. It was not hard to figure out each other’s thoughts if you think so similarly. Tess wasn’t a mystery. She was familiar.

They walked all the dirty plates and platters back to the dark kitchen. She threw the dishes in the sink and turned to Tess.

“Do you ever miss him?” She winced, but surprisingly, Tess was not put off by the question.

“Because you’re asking an honest question, I’ll give you an honest answer.” She put the sauce bottles back in the fridge and kicked it closed. “Not really, no. He was rarely present when he was here, so I got used to being without him long before we split up.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Tess’ mouth was set in a tense grin. It didn’t sound like she spoke about the same man.

“Just wait, Grace. At first, everything is fine - he makes you feel like you’re on the verge of reaching him, digging out the poison, but it’s a ruse. It’s not damage. It’s just who he is. Cold. Distant. Once you realize that, he loses the only charm he has. At least, for me.”

She was dangerously close to bursting into sobs. She didn’t know whether she was heartbroken or furious. Whatever it was, she trembled with it.

“Why are you so bitter?” She squeezed the edge of the counter so hard it hurt.

Tess took the cake out of the box and grabbed a knife. “Because I wasted the best years of my life figuring that out.” She carried the cake to the door and turned to look at her. “There are no hard feelings toward you. You can have ‘im, Grace.”

Grace sat in the kitchen until she heard the first notes of the birthday song. She kicked off her shoes and walked barefoot to the table around which everyone was gathered. Daisy’s face was lit up by candles, her smile nervous and lovely.

Alec and Tess kissed her after she blew out the candles. Tess smeared pale green icing on her cheek. Again, she felt outside of things. She withdrew and went to the bathroom. Her belly muscles hurt from repressed sobs, but her eyes were dry.

Tess had spoken about wanting to fix him. She didn’t know how to respond to that. If anything, he had helped her, made her feel like a human being again. To think that he thought her the strong one! It was laughable.

There was a knock on the door.

“I’m almost done,” she said, pulling up her slacks.

“It’s me,” Alec said. She opened the door and took him into her arms, burying her face in his chest.

He rubbed her back.”It’s time for Daisy’s big announcement,” he said. “I just hope it doesn’t have to do anything with going abroad for university.”

“Because you’ll miss her?” she said into him.

He snorted. “Think of the cost!” When she looked up at him, he gave her a knowing look.

Of course he’d miss her.

* * *

Daisy stood at the center of the dance floor.

“Alright, shut it nae,” she said, waving her hands. “Lemme speak.”

The whispers ceased. She smoothed her shirt over her flat belly and took a deep breath. The mannerism was adorably genetic.

“So, like, I’m gonna make this as quick and painless as possible. First of all, thank you for coming out to my party and getting me all these rad gifts…”

There were whistles and laughter. She waited for them to quiet down again. She took a deep breath.

“You all know my bestie, Finn. We’ve been kicking around together since primary school.” Alec put his arm around Grace, his brow furrowed. “We’ve gone through a hell of a lot together, and she is by far, my favorite person in the world-”

Tess whistled.

“-after you and dad, of course,” she continued. “Anyway. Without further ado…” she extended her hand, and Finn ducked onto the dance floor and grabbed it. They smiled at each other in a way that made Alec’s hand twitch on her shoulder. “So, um, we’re together now. Have been for the last four months.”

Everyone was silent and looking at Tess and Alec.

“Mum, dad, everybody - Finn’s my girlfriend.” They wrapped their arms around each other but did not kiss, although Grace saw they wanted to. The crowd exploded into applause. Finn, a petite brunette with a gamine haircut and a summer dress on, blushed into Daisy’s neck.

Tess gave them both a hug, kissing each on their forehead.

“You know you can’t stay over anymore, right?” she said to Finn, ruffling her hair.

“Mum!” Daisy tugged on her arm.

“Now you’ve told the world I can’t have it thinking I’m running a love motel,” she said, tugging on her ponytail.

Daisy’s smile faltered. She hadn’t thought of that.

“That’s right. No more snogging while I’m in the other room thinking you’re swooning over Justin Timberlake.”

“Eww,” Daisy said, pulling Finn off the chat with friends. “Fair enough.”

Grace was so absorbed in the action, she didn’t notice that Alec was gone.

_Oh shit._

* * *

He sat in the car, stone-faced and silent. She knocked on the window.

He lowered it just enough so he could be heard. “Get in.”

“No, Alec. You come out, right now, and give your daughter a hug.” She stamped her bare foot on the driveway.

Cars began to pull up - parents picking up their kids. She ran back to the garden and grabbed her shoes. Daisy and Finn were surrounded by a small group of close friends. She walked over and they parted without a word.

She patted her shoulder. “I know how nerve-wracking that must’ve been. You’re both very brave.”

“Honestly, I’m relieved. The lying was really shit,” she said, shrugging. “For better or worse, I can do me. Everyone at school kinda already knew anyways.”

Grace smiled. “I know how that is. Parents are always the last to know with this kinda thing,” she said. The whole group turned to look at her. Daisy’s eyebrow rose.

“What? Your generation didn’t invent gayness,” she said, flipping her hair dramatically. They laughed. “Anyway, we’re on our way. Got a long drive.”

“Thanks for coming, and for the bangin’ phone,” Daisy said, giving her a final hug. She didn’t seem fazed by Alec’s disappearance. She must’ve noticed her perplexed expression. “Don’t worry about Dad. I’m used to ‘im. He’ll come ‘round.”

Grace rubbed Daisy’s back and kissed her cheek. “Of course,” she said.

“Give ‘im my love,” she said as Grace walked into the house for her bag. Tess was drinking a very full glass of red wine. She grabbed her things and was almost out the door when Tess coughed to get her attention.

“Waiting in the car for you, is he?” Tess said. Her normally smooth voice was frayed around the edges.

“Yeah,” she said.

Tess smirked. “Thanks for comin’, love,” she said, and walked into her dark living room.

* * *

He waited for her in the passenger’s seat, arms crossed.

She set the GPS and pulled off without a word. She knew him enough to know it would be a one-sided argument if she spoke.

As she got on the highway, she turned on the radio. About a minute later, he slapped if off and recrossed his arms.

She sighed, but remained silent.

Finally, he turned to look at her. His face looked skeletal, too sharp in the highway lights. She dug in her bag for a piece of gum, then cursed when she couldn’t find it. He reached in and handed her the pack, a reconciliatory act.

She turned on the radio again and turned it up louder.

He uncrossed his arms and rubbed his thighs pensively. He did not turn it off this time.

* * *

“Daisy liked her gift,” he said about an hour into the ride.

She switched lanes. Freddie brayed about being a champion. He turned down the radio.

He repeated himself.

“I’m glad. It was my pleasure,” she said. 

“If left to me I really would’ve gotten her something ridiculous. If the department didn’t assign me a mobile, I’d have something out of the Flintstones for myself,” he said. He smiled.

Her eyes remained on the road.

He rubbed his thighs again, then reached over to tuck a tendril of her hair behind her ear. On the radio, it went from Freddie to the Beatles.

He began to sing very softly.

_But the fool on the hill_

_Sees the sun going down_

_And the eyes in his head_

_See the world spinning round…_

It still surprised her how such a rough looking man could have a voice that gentle.

She turned off the radio. It was petty, but it felt good.

He sighed. “Slow down, darling.”

She zoomed past the other cars, switching lanes repeatedly. “Just because you drive like an old lady doesn’t mean I have to,” she said. “I want to get home tonight.”

He turned, lay his head on the glass and watched her. Her jaw muscle twitched.

“I’ll call Daisy tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Her knuckles were pale on the steering wheel. The needle approached 85 mph.

“We understand each other. She’ll be fine.”

“Uhuh.”

“Not that we will be if you don’t slow down,” he said. The needle passed 90.

She frowned. Her vision was blurring.

“There’s a rest area ahead. We should stop.”

“I just want to get to my place, Alec,” she said.

Something in the tone in which she said ‘my place’ was meant to hurt. And it did.

“Please, turn into the rest stop. I’ll drive the rest of the way. I don’t mind.” He softened his voice and his mannerisms.

It infuriated her. “Don’t use your copspeak on me. I’m not a mad gunwoman,” she said, rolling her eyes. A solitary tear dripped down to her chin.

“But you’re agitated.” He put his hand on the back of her neck, something he knew relaxed her, but she pulled his hand away. She coughed her first sob. “It’s coming up. Turn into the rest area, Gracie,” he said. “Please.”

The tires squealed as she swerved into the exit lane.

“Slow down. Easy…” he said as she neared the picnic area. Her breaths were getting shorter and shorter. Panic was setting in. The place was dark and solitary. Residential lights twinkled weakly through a copse of oaks. He looked inside her bag for the little blue enameled pill holder she kept in there for emergencies and grabbed a half empty water bottle.

She got out of the car and bent double, trying to catch her breath. Tear dripped freely from her face to the pavement, but she didn’t have enough air to sob.

He ran around and tried to help her, but she slapped his hand away again and ran drunkenly toward the trees.

“Gracie! Stop!”

He knew she suffered from occasional panic attacks, but he didn’t know why she would be having one then. Her trigger was very specific. Any exposure to emotional abuse, be it on TV or a book or a conversation, would set her off.

She hadn’t had an attack in over 6 months.

It was fucking dark and he didn’t have his glasses. He followed the sounds of her rough, desperate sobs to a picnic table surrounded by new birches. She was on top of it, on her side and in the fetal position.

“Gracie, darling. I’ve got your medicine.”

He put his hand on her trembling shoulder. She didn’t even feel it. Her lips moved, so he bent to put his ear near her mouth.

_-I can’t do this again oh God please I can’t I just can’t do it Jesus God not again I can’t I can’t-_

He caressed the slowly flowing tears from her cheeks, and she shivered and moved away from his touch. It was excruciatingly painful, but he opened the pill holder, took two pills from it, and opened the bottle of water.

“This table is cold and dirty. Sit up so you can take your pills,” he said, his voice rising and falling in the same gentle cadence he used with victims at work.

She didn’t move. He pulled her up and pressed it to her lips. Her tongue wet his fingertips as she licked it into her mouth.

“Now drink,” he said, cradling the back of her head with his hand and pressing the water to her lips. She swallowed dutifully and he tried to give her another pill, but she shook her head.

“I can’t. I have…work.”

He took off his coat and put it over her shoulder then sat beside her.

They stared at the hypnotizing white and red of the passing cars for a while. The trees rustled their dreams around them.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he said.

She pressed her face to the shoulder of his coat and took a deep breath. “Alec, do they ever talk to you about torture at work?”

“Yes. More than I want to know, but I suppose it has its purpose. It’s a cruel world.”

“There is a technique a torturer uses when they want to break a person down to nothing. They torture the victim for hours, days, weeks - then stop. They’ll call it respite, a little rest to recoup the strength to scream. But it won’t be brief. It will go on long enough for the victim to relax, for the adrenaline levels to go down in the blood, for the heart rate to slow. It might be an hour. Or 12. Maybe even a day. Just long enough for the victim to think, reason. Maybe it’s over. Maybe they got what they wanted and they’ll let me go, or kill me. Either way, it’s done. How does the torturer know when that moment has come? Who knows. Maybe it’s something in the eyes. But they watch, and they wait until they see that look, and that’s when they come back to tighten the screws again more painfully than ever. It’s that realization that it’s not over that makes it twice as monstrous - that they haven’t inspired pity, and that they may never escape. That breaks them…it’s not even the pain. Just that thought.”

Her face was screwed up into a rictus of agony.

“First it was my father. Then it was Frank. Perhaps the demon has found me again. Maybe I haven’t escaped. It just dressed itself up as someone else to tighten the screws. Maybe I’ll never be free from it, since it’s my choice every time. My blood. My heart. My foolish head.”

His eyes blurred with tears. He didn’t dare say anything for fear of saying something he would regret. He knew her pain well, but she had never said anything like that to him, no matter how haunted she was.

She looked at him shivering beside her. She wanted to be free from the pain, to feel nothing, but it was impossible. Was he truly broken as Tess said with such conviction? If so, she did not have the strength to fix him. That made her ache twice as much.

“Alec, I can’t do it again. The cold. The absence. The silences. It’s cruelty, and I’m just not built to withstand it. I will never understand it or get used to it. And if that’s what this going to turn into, I would prefer to stop things now before I lose myself.”

She slid off the table and started back toward the car, zigzagging the slightest bit because of the drugs. He watched her get into the passenger’s side and close the door. What she said echoed in his aching ribcage.

Cold. Absence. Silence.

Too familiar accusations. Words, pared down to poniards that had nearly killed him.

Grace spoke of demons, but failed to see he had one of his own.

Tess.

* * *

Gracie slept through the rest of the trip, slack-faced and silent as a corpse. He hated those pills, and had promised himself to protect her so she didn’t have to take them. He had failed. In the back of head he knew he shouldn’t have let her spend so much time alone with Tess, but after what had happened in the morning, he didn’t want her to think him a domineering asshole.

He sighed as he parked on the curb in front of their apartment building.

He should’ve taken the risk. Anger made his knuckles white. Why did he constantly give her room to step all over him? He had passively taken her shit for years in the name of love and for Daisy. His Daisy had grown up to be bulletproof.

Gracie was not.

He walked around and opened the door, willing to carry her, but she woke with a groan.

“Home?”

“Yes, sweetie. Can you manage?”

She put her arms out, childlike, and he pulled her into his arms. He tried to scoop her legs out from under her.

“No. I think I can walk.”

He kicked her door closed and walked her inside and up the stairs.

She guffawed. “You were gonna carry me up these steps?”

“Yes, if you couldn’t make it.”

“We would’ve both died. You because of your heart. And me from the fall.”

“Hesh yer mouth,” he said, but he chuckled.

Once home, he walked her to the bedroom. He lay her gently on  the bed and pulled her shoes off. In the lamplight, he could clearly see the salt trails of her tears on her cheeks. It ached to see she had cried so much.

He went into the bathroom to run a bath.

“Alec?” Her voice was rough. The pills made her mouth dry.

“Yes, darling?”

“Could you make me a cup of tea like you do? This shit’s hitting me too hard and I’ve got to be up in 5 hours. I’m gonna have to talk to Dr. Singh about adjusting the dose.”

He made her favorite tea, his way - two bags steeped double long, with a dollop of milk and three spoonfuls of sugar.

He helped her sit up.

She smiled at him. “In my favorite cup too.” It read ‘fuck you you fucking fuck’ in bold red letters.

“It’s a very valid sentiment,” he said, caressing the hair out of her face.

She took a sip and winced. “Ooh. That’ll paint my insides black,” she said. “Yum. Thank you.”

He sat by her, staring at her with eyes that made her want to sink through the mattress. She had been cruel. And yet he had never, ever, been anything but kind with her.

“Darling?” she said as she drained the cup.

“Yeah?”

“The water’s still going,” she said, nodding at the bathroom door. He ran inside and the water stopped. Steam curled on the ceiling. Water swished, then he came back in with his sleeves rolled up.

“Bath’s ready. Come on.”

She gave him a long look as he helped her undress. He pressed gently at the twin purple bruises on her neck. She hissed.

She had forgotten they were there, but the pain and the memory of how they’d gotten there made her react. She was wet again. He noticed as he pulled off her panties, but he respectfully ignored it. She linked her arm in his as they walked to the bathroom - the caffeine in the tea was beginning to take effect. The bathroom smelled like the tropical bloom room in a botanical garden.

“What is that?” she said, taking a deep breath.

“A little something I got you for your birthday but was too afraid to give you.” He read the bottle, squinting dramatically. “Monoi flowers, night-blooming jasmin and tahitian vanilla orchid,” he said in the broadest Scottish brogue he could muster.

She sat in the water, fanning her fingers on the surface it to release its perfume. “It’s something out a dream. Why were you afraid to give it to me?”

He sat on the toilet, watching her.

“You have all these little glass bottles with foreign names on your vanity. This is just from the shops in town. I suppose I figured you wouldn’t like it, and I wanted to impress you. Still do.”

She pointed at the pile of clean washcloths on the bathroom counter, and he silently handed her one.

“It’s beautiful. You’ll have to tell me where you bought it. I want the perfume, if they have it.”

He beamed sweetly at her approval, and it finally broke her. She started to cry again.

He dropped to his knees by the tub. “What is it, sweetie?”

She hugged him hard, soaking his shirt.

“I’m so sorry for saying those things. I don’t know what happened.” She got on her knees in the water and it spilled all over him. 

“Shhh, darling. _I_ know, and that’s good enough for me. I forgive you.” he said, rubbing her wet back.

She took his face in her hands and kissed him all over. She tasted of saltwater and flowers.

“I love you. Love you. Love you. So much.” She pulled off his wet tie and unbuttoned his shirt. “Get in here.”

He stripped and got in. She got between his legs and lay back against his chest. She ran her fingernails along his hairy thighs pensively.

“What did you mean, you know what happened?”

He kissed the top of her head. “Because I do. And I should’ve protected you.”

“From what?”

“From _who_ is more like it,” he said, wringing the cloth and washing her shoulders. She tipped her chin up so he could scrub her chest. She loved his touch. It calmed her. “She’s poisonous, and sometimes I forgot not everyone’s immune.”

“You’re speaking in metaphors. I don’t like it. Who?”

He dropped the washcloth and rubbed suds into her breasts. Her eyes closed. Her nipples hardened in the hot water.

“Tess. She got in your head, didn’t she?”

She took his hands and kissed them, but remained silent.

“I didn’t want you thinking I liked to speak ill of my ex-wife, but it was foolish. We should’ve left after I found you hiding in the loo. You had a frightened look. I’m intimately familiar with the feeling.”

She put her thighs on top of his and tucked her feet underneath his calves. His hand moved past her belly and disappeared under the water. She sighed and her eyes closed. He caressed her gently, barely touching her clit with the pad of his middle finger. She warmed the water underneath his hand. He hardened against the small of her back.

“Alec?” She put her hand on his wrist. He stopped.

“She called you cold. Said you weren’t there years before you left.”

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black,” he said. His muscles tightened with anger against her.

“She called _you_ poison.” She whispered it.

He actually growled.

She turned to look at him, kissing his neck where his scruff stopped.

“Tess is narcissistic. Nearly sociopathic in her selfishness,” he said. “It took me years to realize it and stop beating myself up for being unable to make her happy. And the moment I did is the moment I withdrew, for my own protection, and Daisy’s. But I still loved her. And I stayed, hoping I could get to her, but all it did was nearly kill me. I was a lead balloon way before Sandbrook.”

A fat tear followed the line of his nose and disappeared into his beard.

“She knew where to poke me and make me bleed,” she said. “And I am so sorry I took it out on you.”

“You know, if you need some time, I can go back to the old inn I stayed at when we first met.” Another tear dripped off his nose. “I just want you to be okay. You have huge responsibilities. I don’t need my mess getting in the way of your peace of mind.”

“You are my peace of mind, Alec, and this is our home. I can’t just kick you out of our shared space. Frankly, you should make me sleep on the sofa for being so needlessly awful to you earlier. In fact, I will. A little self-imposed exile will teach me to hold my tongue.”

He put his hands on her waist. “Naw. That’s just as much a punishment for me as you. We’ll have to think of something else together,” he said, his eyes moving from between her legs to her eyes.

“You bounce back quick.” She swished the water over his hips.

“I want you,” he said. There was no mirth in his voice. It was deep with emotion.

“I’m an absolute shit to you, and you want to make love to me?”

He nodded. The look in his eye didn’t change. He nuzzled her breasts as his hand went between her legs again.

“No. Let’s go to bed.” She stepped out and put on her robe. He stepped out and his erection bounced comically. She gave it a gentle tug and handed him a towel. “We’re both gonna forget tonight.”

* * *

She waited for him by the bed with his kit. “Get your handcuffs.”

He chuckled. “I knew this was coming.”

“Did you?” she said. He pulled them off the belt and put the key around his neck. “Am I that predictable?”

“Hardly.” He opened them with a practiced flick of the wrist that made her pussy twitch.

She got on her stomach and extended her arms over her head. “Cuff me to the bed.” He bent over her, kissing the back of her neck. She tested them. Her wrists moved easily in the steel. “They’re too loose. I need them tighter.”

He squeezed too gently, afraid to hurt her. She heard one click, then another. His hard on poked her hip.  She winked at him and squeezed them to the skin. Just the feel of the metal so close against her, knowing that she couldn’t get out until he let her out, made her groan. He noticed and began to kiss down her back, his fingers spreading her slick cunt lips open.

“Alec. Sweetie.” His mouth stopped at the small of her back. “This is about punishment, not reward.”

He squeezed her ass, rubbing his beard against her smooth flesh. “I can tease you until it feels like a punishment,” he said. His fingertips brushed against her clit.

“I know you can, baby, but I’ve been really bad. My infraction deserves a little something more than your velvet tongue.”

He spread her legs open, but she closed them again.

“Get my hairbrush.”

“You want me to brush your hair?” He grabbed the first one he saw, a vented blowdrying brush with plastic bristles.

“No. My night brush.”

“Oh.” He got the large wooden paddle one with the boar bristles that she brushed her hair at night. He liked watching her when she did it. Her dark wavy hair would turn to a black silk he would bury his face in once she got into bed.

He actually sat on the edge of the bed and started to brush her hair. Her eyes watered with the intense love she felt.

“You think I want you to brush my hair all night?” she said, giggling.

“I’ll do whatever you like, darling.”

“You mean that?”

“Yes.”

She bounced up on her knees, spreading wide. His pupils dilated. He was ready to get behind her and bury his mouth in her heat.

“No, Alec. Spank me. Use the smooth side of the brush.”

He squinted. “Won’t that hurt?”

“Yes. But I was a shit earlier. A little pain will teach me to watch what I say.” She grabbed the headboard and arched. “I know you want to.”

He looked at the brush as if it were a novel object. Ever since the first time, Tess had rejected him, humiliated him, then made him feel like an asshole when he couldn’t perform the way she wanted. Gracie had only ever been eager - for his kisses, his touch, him. Although he’d been wary about certain acts, the last month or so had shown him that there was more in him to give than he imagined. Her ass quivered. His mouth watered.

“Go on. Teach me, baby.”

He rubbed the smooth wood and did a couple of practice hits on his palm. It stung.

“When you paddle me, let it bounce off naturally. Don’t leave it flat on my skin. Don’t go too hard too-”

The brush snapped expertly against her ass, making it jiggle. She hissed. His eyes widened. He did it again on the other cheek, paddled, watched the jiggle, then rubbed the warm wood against the rising welt. He did it again near the same place, a little bit harder. She bit her arm to stifle a moan. She hadn’t felt that kind of pain since Frank, but with Alec, it was a thousand times more delicious.

She adored Alec.

He watched her lovely ass bloom pink and his cock throbbed. Sweat shone on her back. She shivered after every blow.

“Gracie?”

The look in her eyes made him grunt.

“Harder, Alec. Bruise me like you did this morning. Mark me.”

He threw the brush aside and moved her until she was draped over his lap.

“Oh fuck,” she said, straining against the cuffs. Her belly was damp against his thighs. Sweat covered her. He caressed the superheated flesh of her ass and groaned softly. He’d always wanted to do this. It was in the fantasies he was ashamed to say he found completion in, but here she was.

Sweating, writhing, and so wet she soaked his thighs. She wanted it just as much as he did. He couldn’t believe it.

“Hey, Mister. Please don’t stop,” she said. Her tone had changed slightly. She knew.

He spanked her cheeks lightly all over, warming her up. She spread and licked her lips, nodding at him. He finally slapped hard, flicking his wrist for the enticing jiggle. She curled into herself. He was a very fast learner.

He licked his handprint and did it again, each time closer to her swollen cunt. She dripped down to his thigh. He wanted to touch her, but he resisted. They were on the same wavelength now.

The precumslick head of his cock slid against her belly as she twitched with every blow. For the first time since he restrained her, it actually felt like a punishment. She wanted to stroke him, suck him, but she couldn’t. He caressed her inner thighs, pinching them just hard enough to make her sigh. She drenched his knuckle with her wetness. He massaged her swollen cunt lips but didn’t touch in between. His other hand plucked her nipples.

She soaked her pillow with sweat and tugged at the handcuffs.

He finally got behind her, grasping her waist hard. His hard cock slid between her pussy lips. She arched.

“You want me to punish you?” he said, his voice barely intelligible over her moans. She bit them back to hear him.

She nodded.

He wet his length with her juices and rubbed himself between her bruised cheeks. He squeezed them together around his hardness. He groaned.

“Because if that’s the case I could come just from this,” he said, even more softly. He moved his hips so beautifully. She licked her panting-dry lips at the sight of him. “I could wet your ass with come and send you to the sofa, naked and aching.”

She whimpered and bucked. He slapped her ass hard, baring his teeth. She stilled and stared at him.

“Or, I could make you swallow me then send you out. That’d be good,” he said. The crown of his cock caught on her ass. He pressed himself into her, and his heart raced as she stretched to take him. He stopped and moved back down between her cunt lips. 

“You can suck me off, slow and deep. I want you to feel each stroke in your fanny,” he whispered. He reached around and barely grazed her clit. “I could tease your clit as you swallowed me until you twitched, but not let you come.” He rubbed harder. “And keep the handcuffs on, so you can’t cheat after I fall asleep.”

Her pussy twitched in warning. His dirty talk was working. Very well.

He leaned into her. “Would you like me to do that?”

She didn’t speak. He backhanded her ass.

“No!”

He rubbed her twitching asshole with his thumb. “You wanted punishment. But you’re greedy.”

“I want you to come. Any way you like.”

“Oh?” He eyed her bum longingly, but reached up to unlock one handcuff. “Turn around.” She got on her back and he relocked it, tight this time. He straddled her chest right underneath her breasts and tugged at her nipples. His cock hovered a few inches from her parted lips.

It was surreal. Her gentle Alec, topping her. If it was a drug dream, she didn’t want to wake.

He rose to his knees. “Kiss it.” He pressed the head of his cock against her lip. The scent of him tempted her to lick instead.

He slapped her lightly on the mouth - just enough to sting. “I didn’t say you could lick. Kiss.” His voice still had that soft quality that did not match his intensity. It was like hot fudge on ice cream, a perfect contrast of hot and sweet.

She kissed him. Her lips were damp with him, but she did not lick them clean.

“Good. Now suck.” He pressed his hardness against his belly and his balls grazed her lips. She sucked one into her mouth, laving it with her tongue until he groaned. “Don’t forget the other.” She obeyed, moaning into his flesh.

He wanted to tease her that way further, but one look between her legs and he couldn’t resist. It was his rules, right? He didn’t want to deny himself. He turned around and buried his tongue inside her. His beard prickled on her swollen clit but he didn’t lick it. He was too eager to spread her open with his tongue and feel her pulse around it. He grunted and spread her thighs wide. She wanted him in her mouth, but she couldn’t reach him.

She nipped his thigh. “Baby?”

He popped himself into her mouth and grabbed her thighs again, wrapping his arms around and spreading her cheeks wide to lick down to her asshole. She sucked gently, but her tongue moved firm and quick over the head of his cock. She could taste he was close. If he came before her, would he really send her out, handcuffed and wet?

She would fall asleep content and throbbing anyway, with his taste still in her mouth. She liked that idea. Loved it. To be his plaything. Ever willing. Always ready. To feel him grow stronger, more confident in his loveliness every day. They could forget past privations together.

He tasted her impending orgasm and stopped. She still sucked on him, her head bobbing, the broad spade of her tongue curled around him.

He moved down her body, and she whimpered as he popped out of her mouth.

“More.”

“No.” He tucked a pillow underneath her ass and spread her wide again, just looking at her.

“Just this is enough,” he said, squeezing himself.

“Whatever you want, baby. I’m yours.”

He stroked himself, his eyes moving from her breasts to her pussy to her suckswollen mouth. His balls tightened. She spread wider, licking her lips. Her toes curled. She was tempting him.

“Paint me. Please. I wanna see you come.” Her knees touched the mattress she spread so wide. He ran two fingers between her pussylips and she sighed. They slid so easily inside her. He added another. Her tight heat made his eyes roll to the back of his head.

He couldn’t tease any longer.

He thrust deeply into her, his body curled into an apostrophe over hers. His hips slapped into her bruised flesh, and the delicious ache of it made her writhe in her handcuffs.

His hands were fists underneath her armpits. He liked the game, but he missed her arms around him and her fingers digging into his back.

He unlocked her and the handcuffs fell against the wall and the bed with a clang. She rolled on top of him. She grasped his slim ribcage and _rode_ him, harder than she had ever dared. Why did he always make her so desperate? She felt as if she didn’t take what she craved right then he would disappear into the amorphous ether of dreams. He seemed too good to be true. At least, for her.

He grabbed her wrists and kissed the raw red the handcuffs had left. She slowed.

“Don’t stop,” he said into her skin. He sat up and wrapped her arms around his neck. She held on and bounced on him, blind and moaning. He pulled her closer and guided her hips into a better angle. “Look at me, Gracie.”

He made her name sound like the sweetest term of endearment. His gaze was filled with something that looked like awe. The lines around his eyes were gone. There was only his amber eyeshine and his besotted grin. She took his face in her hands and kissed him tenderly, even as her hips ground hard on him.

“I love you, baby,” she said, squeezing tight around him. She was nearly there.

“Say it again,” he said. His fingers dug into her hips. He moved faster.

She threw her head back. “I love - _Oh God_ -”

He sucked the bruised part of her neck and came, grunting into her shoulder. His orgasm triggered hers, and they bucked and panted into each other until their pulse slowed. He pulled her down to bed and took her in his arms. She wiped the sweat from his brow and kissed him.

Tess said he was cold, but that was bullshit. He was right. She was only describing herself. Alec was life and warmth. He was way more than she deserved, but she would work on it. She would be worthy.

“You’re too good to me. I love you.” She rubbed on the silky lobe of his ear, something that made his eyes close with pleasure.

“Shesh up and come here,” he said, rolling on his back and patting his chest. “Time for sleep.”

She kissed his chest and closed her eyes.

“I love you too, sweetie,” he whispered into her hair as she drifted into sleep.

* * *

She woke three hours later, curiously refreshed. He had moved in his slumber, and he slept on his stomach, hugging his pillow. His breaths were deep and quiet.

She performed her quick pre-work toilet, taking care to cover the bruises on her neck with a bit of concealer. She smiled. She hadn’t had to do that in years. After, she looked in on him, nursing a cup of tea in her hands. He moaned and reached out for her, found nothing, and his brow furrowed in his sleep. She lay down and spooned him, caressing his temple gently so as not to wake him.

He whimpered. She kissed his neck and breathed in his sleep warmth.

_My beautiful Alec. You’re not poison. You are the antidote._

She gave him a squeeze, covered him and tiptoed out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her.


End file.
